So, we, err I, am also at a crossroads in my academic career. As many of you might be aware, I applied for the position of Department Head in Biology at Utah State University, my home for the past decade (has it been that long?). This was not an easy decision for me given the uncomfortable nature of being an "in-house" applicant and mainly for the reason this was not a position that I thought I really wanted. You see, dear readers, this was a position I turned down several years ago for many of the same reasons that I was hesitant to apply this time. But I did apply at the urging of some colleagues, gave research talks and vision statements to decade-long friends, and as our story played out I did not get the position (I was "2nd", whatever that means). Was I disappointed? Honestly, not really. Was my ego bruised? A bit but that has long healed.
Just where are the crossroads I speak of? Well, when I decided to apply for the position of Head I made myself a promise should I not get it (which, if you've been paying attention, I did not), either to decide once and for all to either (1) work more diligently to get greater administrative experience and responsibilities and continue to try and move up the academic ladder or (2) get my rear end back into the laboratory more and become an even better, more productive researcher.
Looking back along the path, I have been trying to do both and probably have not been great at either. By being Associate Head for 7+ years and involved as Associate Director and then Director of the now defunct Ctr for Advanced Nutrition and doing a ton of committee and service responsibilities, I had been steadily chipping away at research time. All the administrative duties made it harder to find time to read papers and the critically important aspect of taking some time each day to sit and think about science. I don't know if every researcher feels this way, but for me to think creatively or "outside the box" requires that I have the time to put my feet up, lean back in my chair and just let my mind go at it. Gawd, that sounds presumptuous and arrogant, but I don't know another way to say it. Anyway, this is the role of the orange chair* in my other office - my place to sit and think (OK, and occasionally nap). Despite the many responsibilities I had taken on in recent years, the lab has managed to stay productive and funded (if you could see me, I am furiously knocking on wood at the moment), but like our country, the laboratory could and should do better if we are going to remain active researchers.
So, keeping the promise to myself, I have thought and thought - both in and out of the orange chair - about which way to go. Like any decision, there are pluses and minuses to each choice and I won't bore you with the specifics. But the orange chair did its job - I came to the realization that I am in my professional career, first and foremost, a researcher - that is what I love to do and, if I am being frank, is something I am probably better at than being an administrator. I have never been a big fan of meetings for meetings sake, which seems to be item #1 in the job requirements for any administrator. And, there are real, tangible benefits to choosing the research path - I'll have more time for life outside the university (i.e. real life), a life filled with family, skiing, the Broncos, nature, etc. Maybe, I'll have the time to finally really learn to play the guitar well. So, I have chosen the path - I'll decrease administrative and committee responsibilities where I can and figuratively put on the old, graying lab coat. Is it the right decision? I am not sure, but coming to this conclusion has made me incredibly content and has re-energized me. But one thing I've learned is that I will probably come to more forks in the road as I move forward and I'll be back in the orange chair again and again.
*some consider this chair rather ugly, while I really, really like it both functionally and aesthetically.
